The single-most humbling experience in all of humanity is parenting. And, for the record, I do not think there is an ounce of hyperbole in that last sentence. In fact, I doubt that it is possible to overstate the overwhelming, overpowering, and at times even devastating experience parenting can be. Yes, there are joys and blessings. Yes, there are moments of heart-swelling pride and life-enriching love. I praise God for those times, yet the reality remains that as we walk along this path called parenting there will be frequent times of trial and heartache.
The point here is not to overshadow the joys by recognizing the difficulty. I do not desire to eclipse the blessings of parenting with the dark spot of trials. To the contrary, the hope is that in acknowledging our common experience we can step out of the hidden corners of shame and discouragement and seek healing.
It has been my experience that many parents are way too hard on themselves. Living with unspoken fears and insecurities, parents are weighed down by feelings of inadequacy and burdened with shame. And though these emotions are common, parents remain unwilling to give expression to their struggles. We hide (or even deny) our troubles, even from our own spouses. We choose to fight these inward battles alone and in our own strength. This mentality only compounds our pain and perpetuates our discouragement.
Parents need more. We need more than the well-meaning nods of understanding we get from others. As well-meaning as those expressions of sympathy are, they do little to refresh our souls. Sometimes, “I understand” or “I remember those days” are really just ways to say, “I really hope you make it, but I don’t really know how to help you.” Not only do we need more, I think we ask for more. Many times, when we joke about girl-drama or declare that “boys will be boys” or groan about teenagers, what we are really doing is asking for help.
It is my desire that the church be a safe place where broken and hurting people can come and find hope and encouragement. Those who are saved by Christ through repentant faith and adopted into God’s family must learn to walk together in faith. We are to be broken people leaning on one another as we seek God’s design and pursue His purposes, and see His glory. I cannot plead with parents enough to find a support system where real help and encouragement can be found. Find some other parents from varying life stages who can speak truth into your journey and offer hope. The best resource for parents is in the local church.
The church I pastor desires to be such a place for parents. This Wednesday night (January 14th at 6:30 p.m.) First Baptist Church in Blanco will be viewing the movie Irreplaceable. It is a documentary exploring the importance of family and the factors contributing to the decline of family. Beginning January 21st, we will be having a study entitled The Family Project as we hope to bring parents together to strengthen one another and learn together about God’s design for the home. Maybe you already have a church family, praise God! Now share with others about the live-giving grace you find there. If you are looking for a place, we would welcome you any time you can make it.
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