I come from a family of 350lb people. I used to be very close to that, myself. Why? Partly, genetics...mainly, choice. Let me tip you about choice this week.
One of my favorite authors is the late William Glasser, noted American psychiatrist and developer of Reality Therapy and Choice Theory. (Look him up and read his books for more information...you might be glad you did!) Dr. Glasser’s institute has published a list of basic ‘Human Habits’ for relational engagement. Take a look at these and ask yourself if you’re relating in a healthy way...or in a deadly way, to those you love and to yourself.
Seven Caring Habits: Supporting, Encouraging, Listening, Accepting, Trusting, Respecting, Negotiating differences.
Seven Deadly Habits: Criticizing, Blaming, Complaining, Nagging, Threatening, Punishing, Bribing (rewarding to control).
Too often we engage in the deadly habits when it comes to relationships. Why are they called deadly habits, you might ask? Because- engaging in these habits results in a disconnection from each other, killing the relationship. We may not only become disconnected from other people, but we can truly become disconnected from who we really are. We criticize and blame ourselves; punish ourselves...we lose ourselves and fall far from loving ourselves. It’s a sad thing we do, but we do it all too often.
Look in the mirror. Do you see a strong, healthy, vibrant person whom you love and respect? Yes? You’re more likely than not engaging in Caring Habits. If, on the other hand, you look in the mirror and see an unhealthy, weak, dull person you don’t like, you’re probably engaging, on some level in the Deadly Habits. You may be in relationship with someone with Deadly Habits, too. Only you know the truth about that...
Now what? The only person whose behavior you can control is yours. You choose to do those things that bring about health and strength, or not. You choose to care for yourself and to surround yourself with people who care for you, or not. You choose. Personal choice regarding your behavior, in large part, determines who you are. Think about it: If you behave in a healthy manner, you become healthy. If you behave in a slovenly, gluttonous manner...well.
Allow NO one to cast the dye for you. You’re in charge of you. No genetics nor parentage can define who you are, unless you allow them to do so. You make the choices, every day that define who you are. Be caring and take good care of you! Support, Encourage, Listen, Accept, Trust, and Respect yourself. Negotiate desired changes today.
Sally Windham-Blackburn is an ACE Certified Personal Trainer and Fitness Instructor in Blanco, TX. Please send questions and comments to sally_blackburn@yahoo.com
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